Some bad, some good

I'm trying not to let this blog sit dormant between weigh-ins so here I am, with a mid-week report. I'm back in the saddle, with a bit of a stumble on Tuesday night due to my first panic/anxiety episode during work. I've been doing better managing these attacks without meds and/or my go-to distraction, m&m's, but since it was during work I was in a hurry to 'fix' myself and couldn't take an anxiety pill because it would effect my focus...so m&m's it was. Not a giant amount, but not a small handful either.

Within an hour I also had a break in which I grabbed some dinner and had managed to feel 75% better, enough to have SUCH regret about eating those dang m&ms! I hate that I use them as a crutch! And why on earth does it sometimes work?! Maybe there's a blood sugar component to some of my anxiety attacks, who knows. All I know is, they may have torpedoed yet another week of seeing a loss. 

My workouts haven't evolved in the ways I'd challenged myself last time, either. I'm just an avoider of things I don't want to do! I did hit the treadmill really hard yesterday and it actually felt really good, so if nothing else I'll keep on doing that, it's better than nothing. I'm finding that working in the evenings is a thwarter of my motivation and plan making skills. Not that I couldn't make it work, I totally did the first week of work, but this second week has been different and I'm slacking during the day more. I'll figure it out, I'm sure. Of course, right when I find the right balance I'll be moving to day shift! :)

Oh, one positive note. Even though my losses have not been there recently, my body seems to be changing. I can fit my spring/summer clothes from three years ago, the ones that I started NOT fitting two summers ago and totally couldn't wear at all last summer! I gotta tell you, that felt great when I took a chance and tried them on. Not to mention saving me money, because I came very close to shopping for things, just assuming those wouldn't fit me yet. 

So anyway, lots of setbacks but also slight progress. Enough progress to keep me trying, which is all I can ask right now. Fingers crossed for the weekend, because between our friend being in town with is BBQ truck and going out for Mother's Day, my diet is in trouble! :)