Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Grumpy and stressed but still here

Yeah, I've been gone awhile again. Here's the thing...if I posted regularly all my blog posts would be the same thing: struggling, depressed, hopeless, wait! I feel a ray of hope, nope, it's gone, hopeless again, eating, not working out, stressed, worked out!, ate ice cream afterward, jeans tight, why even try, bored, bored, nothing going on, something happened that is bad, something else bad, woe is me, bored again, stressed...

See what I mean? Who wants to read that garbage? So I just don't post and after awhile I forget this little blog exists. Sorry.

Updates. Well, down cycles galore, obviously, helped along by some inadvertent hurtful comments made by my two sisters. (Another post, perhaps) Stress out the you-know-where, thanks to a major schooling decision that needs to be made for my daughter for next year, and non-stop wondering of what I'll do if I'm not homeschooling anymore. (PANIC!) Yet more stress, due to an almost comical series of everything falling apart at once: my van breaking down YET AGAIN only now it is in two different areas at the same time, our sewage system keeps backing up YET AGAIN and obviously in need of major (and crazy expensive) repairs, and our roof sprung a new and rather impressive leak during the 2nd rainiest November ever!

(UGH. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it can surely make life a bit easier, I dare say!)

Surprisingly, I'm not really freaking out. Oh, I don't feel GOOD about any of this junk, but I guess all of the hard times over the years have smoothed out my rough edges just a hair. Enough that I just keep plugging away without the ugly panic attack that used to accompany each event I mentioned above. Now? I pick up the phone, call Hubby, and find a way to deal. Hm. Guess God really is using the bad stuff to bring out some good. Whatdoyaknow! ;-)

As for weight stuff, I'm still holding around 130. I have good days and bad ones, nothing terribly consistent yet, which is hindering my progress for sure. At least I feel like I've stopped the upward climb, so there's that. I'm actually suspicious that I might have an ongoing thyroid issue, which I will get checked out after the first of the year. In the meantime, I know I have to at least force myself to walk everyday, which has actually gotten to be a struggle. I don't know what on earth is happening to my joints, specifically my right hip, but something is NOT right there and I'm having a lot of pain and some days I struggle getting around. You know what? Getting old stinks!

This is just a wonderfully uplifting post, is it not? (Um, NOT) See why I stay away? I'm just so grumpy! I will add a couple of GOOD things going on right now. This month we finished paying for the kiddo's braces! What a blessing that is, let me tell you. And right now I'm working on an online Bible study over the book of James and it has really been like a warm blanket around my shoulders. Despite all my struggles with church life, there's still a connection to God that I SO need right now. So yay for blessings amidst the storms. :)

Well, I just wanted to pop in and say hey, and now I'll be on my way. Maybe I'll be back soon, maybe not. Just in case I'm not back soon: MERRY CHRISTMAS!


  1. I'm sorry things are so crummy for you lately:(
    It seems like the "down" times used to be fewer and farther between. What's the deal?

    Yay for your weight stabilizing:0)
    Yay for the end of braces payments:0)
    Yay especially for a closer walk with God.

    Love ya.

  2. I think that this time of year is usually a long down cycle for me. From November to about March, I super-duper struggle. Reasons vary from the holidays (which I kinda hate, if I'm honest), the germs of winter bringing out my fears, and probably a touch of the winter blues. (seasonal affective disorder, I think it's called)

    My hubby and my mom both think my thyroid is out of wack, which can also contribute to depression. Whatever it is...I'm going to the doctor in January and if my thyroid tests okay I might give an antidepressant a try. (Although it's easy to say NOW, we'll see how brave I feel THEN!)

  3. Oh, and today Hubby's van broke down, too. Fa la la la la, la la la la! :)

  4. Ditto above - sorry you're struggling but glad for the positives! :) Glad to hear from you on here - even if you don't like the sound of it. ;)