Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Today's grub!

Food for Tuesday June 30th.

Breakfast: Two scrambled egg whites with an 100% whole wheat english muffin. Excuse the blurry picture, I'm still figuring out the new camera.

Lunch: Box of Lean Cuisine with a side salad.
This is the box:
What it looks like on my plate:
And yes, it IS as good as it looks!

Mid-day snack:

This was DELICIOUS, by the way. Today was the first day I tried it and YUM. A bit high in fat (5 grams) but also high in fiber (9 grams) so it all evens out, I think.

Then came dinner. Sigh. This is the food that has cost me untold calories and pounds NOT lost. My favorite. My addiction. My pizza.I had not one, but two wonderful slices. The good news is, I entered all my food into Sparkpeople (including a banana in case I get hungry later!) and I'm still within my calorie range...the high side, but within the range.

So, there you have it. An entire days worth of food...not including any bedtime snacks, of course! I really like doing this photo food log. It keeps me accountable and gives me a distraction after dinner instead of scarfing the last slice of pizza! :)

Monday, June 29, 2009

Before pics

I never really posted many pics of me in the past...honestly, I deleted most pics of me from the camera, and the ones I kept were usually never made public.

However, I'm posting a few 'before' pics today, so you can see where I started. Some of them were even a few pounds lighter than the 163 I ended up being before my diet began. In fact, those jeans I have on above didn't fit me this past winter.

To be clear, I'm not at my 'After' phase yet, but after seeing these old pictures I am determined to get there! I'm glad I finally got the nerve to post these, because I'm going to refer back to this post on days I feel like giving up. It really IS worth it. I HATE the way I look in these pictures.

Also, I remembered to take a pic of dinner last night. We had chicken stir-fry with brown rice (hidden under that huge pile of stir-fry) and salad. You may also notice my calcium chew and chewable vitamin off to the side!

I think this taking pics of food thing is a great idea, because looking at the picture I realize that was probably a bigger portion than I should have eaten. It was SOOO good though! :)

Pics of me, my weekend eating, and my first meal picture!

Okay...you asked for it, Shauna. I can't believe I actually did a pose (Hubby was telling me how to do it like he was a fashion photographer or something!) and took pics of me on purpose. Ugh. These are his "Okay, put your arm on the tree and kinda lean" shot, and his "Put your arm on your hip for me" shot. Notice that they are taken from above me...I've learned! The shots from above tend to be kind to my chin(s) area. :)

So, there ya go. These were taken on Friday when we went to the park for a lunch picnic. We may have gotten ice cream after. Maybe. It's all a blur...

The weekend was bad exercise wise (none) and almost as bad food wise. Saturday was Subway for lunch and a huge plate of whole wheat penne with sauce for dinner. Then Sunday was my 12th year anniversary so we went to Chili's for lunch (they have a low cal menu, I love that!) but I actually ended up leaving without eating.

See, I ordered a steak with steamed veggies. After waiting for the better part of an hour, our food finally came but I could hardly even cut into my steak, it was so dried out and overcooked. SO, I sent it back, but I never like to get it replaced when I do that...the kitchen people might do yucky things to my new food. (Why yes, I AM paranoid, thanks for noticing!) Hubby and Gabriella got their food packed up to-go and we picked up some Boston Market for me.

By that time (around 2:00) I was SO hungry that I totally ate most of my cornbread...which adds something like 200 calories and 6 grams of fat to the otherwise reasonable meal. Usually I'm good about ignoring the cornbread! Oh well. We went to play putt-putt before we ate dinner and by the time we were done it was almost 9pm. I had NO idea it was so late...the sun was still shining brightly! So dinner was a disaster.

Gabriella wanted a chili-cheese dog from Rally's and on the way home I totally ate a ton of her fries. (Their fries are SOOO good!) I also had a couple of bites of hubby's cheeseburger and a couple of bites of leftover pizza. I ALSO had a microwave Lean Cuisine pizza, salad, and strawberry shortcake with whipped cream. All this between 9 and 10 at night, right before bed. Yikes.

Today, I'm going to start trying to photograph my meals. I wanted to do this in the beginning, but I knew I'd forget a lot and I wanted to be perfect or nothing at all. Dumb. So, you'll see my meals sometimes, and sometimes (probably MOST times) you won't!

Lunch today:

Homemade chicken salad with romaine and tomato in a new wrap I found. They are only 50 calories each with 6 grams of fiber. Also, it's garlic and herb flavor, which is way yummy. I had an apple on the side. :)

So, here's to another week of trying...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Saturday morning weigh-in

Well, I lost exactly one pound. It seems like I've slowed WAAAAY down, and frankly, I'm annoyed. I know it's got to be my eating, because my workouts are going strong! I even added strength training this week. I guess I need to possibly start recording my food in Sparkpeople again for a few days and see if that helps. It gets annoying, but I did much better when I was keeping a closer eye on calories instead of ballparking.

Truth is, I'm frustrated. I've been stuck in June, only losing around 5-6 pounds total the entire month. I haven't been binging on bad food or skipping my workouts, just trying to eat a bit more normal than the previous two months. Ugh. At any rate, it is what it is, and I'm just going to have to keep tweaking!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Progress...and lack of progress

Truth be told, I don't think I'm going to see a loss on the scale this week. Again. It's sad and frustrating, because although the weekend and beginning of the week were, um, not diet-friendly (ahem) but I really got my act together the past three days or so!

Anyway, I do have a NSV (which I believe stands for non-scale victory, correct me if I'm wrong) to share with you! I just got back from the second hand store with a new pair of capri's...size 8! They weren't the only 8's that fit me, either! I even had a pair of 6's on that were just a bit snug around the waist. :)

Other than that, the only other news to share is that I am FINALLY using the restroom like a normal person again. That was so uncomfortable (and embarrassing!) and I'm glad it's over!

Well, I'm back in the morning for my weigh-in...see you then!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Midweek update

Let me tell you, things are weird with me right now. I'm still having the slow digestive issues and it messes my eating and exercising up so much. I am shoving the fiber down my throat and not concerning myself with calories as much...not good. Also, I am so sluggish and bloated that I do NOT want to exercise! My mid-week weigh in today shows a loss...but we'll see how well that holds up!

I did the second half of my 'Firm' workout on Monday...killer. BUT I can feel the results the next day (very sore!) so I feel good about it. I'm trying to do it every other day, which means I should do the first half again today, but I'm still sore so Hubby suggested I wait again for more muscle recovery. Whatever -- any excuse to not do it today totally works for me!

Yesterday I was too bloated to think of doing my run/walk on the treadmill, so I decided to try walking on an incline for the first time. The beginning was so easy that I pushed it up to a 4.0 and did that for close to a mile...yikes. It was a workout! I did half a mile at a 2.0 and then a half mile flat! I don't think I'll be doing that everyday, but maybe once a week to change things up!

I'm finding myself cheating with pizza more and more. Like, twice a week, the way it was before my diet! I don't know what it is, I'm just constantly craving it hardcore. Last night I had two slices in bed...and it wasn't my dinner. Dinner was whole wheat spaghetti and sauce. Ugh.

My name is Missy and I'm addicted to pizza. Someone help me...please!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Weekend wrap-up, and progress picture

Well, here's a pic for you of me yesterday at my sister's Father's Day picnic. I'm not looking at the camera (Hubby took it without me knowing) but it's the only pic that had me in it, so it'll have to do.

Just so you know, I came VERY close to photo shopping the chin/neck area, but decided that would completely defeat the purpose of a progress picture!

Food-wise it was a terrible weekend. I was so desperate on Saturday to solve the problem I was having last week, that I was eating anything with fiber I could get my hands on and went WAY above calories. (I finally went on Sunday morning, thank goodness!)

Yesterday we were in my hometown for Father's Day, so again I ate Kewpie (hamburger AND fries this time...shame!) and then another hamburger at the BBQ later that night, with chips (two big handfuls), cake, and cheese and crackers.

Oh, but shamefully that isn't all.

We actually stopped for pizza on the way home and I ate a ton. A ton!

Again, since we were on the road a lot, I didn't get all my water, either.

So, I have some work to do this week! I'm not giving up, that's for sure. I am finally getting comments on my weight, and that is such a motivation! I'm pretty sure I'm back above 140 again, but I have five whole days before my official weigh-in, and I'd like to be back down to 137-138 by then.

Hope you all had a great weekend,

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Saturday morning weigh-in

Weigh in today: 138.6
Loss for week: .4 lbs.
Total weight loss: 24.4 lbs.

I am NOT happy about this number! On Wednesday I was down to 137...
Ugh. Maybe if I can get things 'moving' again, the number will go back down. I think I may have to go buy something to help in that area. Anyway, it is what it is, and hopefully next week will be better!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Still SO out of shape!

Ugh. Has anyone ever done the original 'The Firm' cardio workout? I bought this years ago (Like six, I think) and every once in a while I get ambitious and think I can tackle it. Today was one of those days.

It is a 55 minute workout. I did twenty minutes and collapsed in disgrace.

I am sweating and huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon! I mean, really. How wimpy! I honestly thought since I'd been walking/running on a regular basis, this workout would be a bit of a challenge but I could surely do it!

I was SO wrong.

I am obviously still in pretty sad shape so my new workout goal is to do 20 minutes of this tape three days a week (on top of my treadmill workout) until I can build up to doing the whole workout twice a week. I desperately need toning anyway, so the weights and cardio combo is a good thing for me to be doing right now.

Hard work, but good. :)

Ugh, indeed...

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Remember when I did lovely, hour long, four mile treadmill workouts? Yeah...so do I. Those were the days. :)

For whatever reason, I can't quite DO it anymore! I'm struggling by 20 minutes in, and I don't know why. Today, I totally pushed myself, yet it was all I could do to walk 45 minutes. I thought this was supposed to be getting easier the lighter I got?

Anyway, onto the topic at hand. Sigh. Lately I've been experiencing some, shall we say...digestive issues. I've never been one to be very regular (I can't believe I'm publicly talking about this, what is wrong with me?!?) but since I've added so much fiber to my diet I seem to have slowed things even farther. And the bloat...you have no idea how bloated I constantly feel! Oh, and every once in awhile, for no reason whatsoever, the opposite thing happens and ewwww.

(Do I need to say it? Please tell me you know what I'm implying there!)

So....I saw this commercial for a product called 'Align' and I'm thinking of giving it a whirl. Anyone tried this...or have an alternative product to suggest? Apparently it's pretty expensive (something like forty bucks a month) and it's in capsule form...which I do NOT do AT ALL, so there are two negatives already. (Although, I'm assuming I can open it and dissolve the inside contents into water, so there's that...)

I'm just rambling now. It's totally embarrassment over discussing my digestive woes with you all! Please forgive my disgusting details and share any advice you have for me!

Thank you SO much,

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Bouncing back

I'm doing a bit better today, thank goodness. Still having that certain 'female' problem, but my mood is definitely lifted compared to yesterday! I've even decided to keep on keepin' on in the diet arena. Why not, right? I can be fat and miserable or skinny and miserable...might as well look good while I cry.

Kidding! See...feeling good enough to joke about it now! :)

My daughter is back with me after a short two day church camp and that helps SO much. What on Earth am I going to do when she grows up and moves out?!? Not going to think about it...

I ate pizza last night (again! I'm obsessed) and I was feeling all self-destructive and planned on pigging out. Of course, this is the ONE time I felt stuffed after only two slices! Guess my body knew better than my rebellious mind. Today? I'm back on track. Special K for breakfast and Lean Cuisine for lunch. Planned snacks are yogurt and an apple. Dinner is a tough one, as I am pretty much OUT of food. I'll cross that bridge later, I guess.

Saw recent pics of me and I still look so bloated and gross. Sigh.

I got my haircut yesterday. Actually, I cut it off myself after I colored it, but couldn't get it even enough myself so off to the salon I went! Twenty bucks just to snip a few stray hairs and taper the ends a bit. Took probably ten minutes. Oh well, guess it's better than walking around with crooked hair. :)

Maybe I even lost a few ounces! Wonder how much hair weighs??

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Down in the dumps

I haven't talked about my down-cycles on this blog, so some of you will have no idea what I mean when I say I'm in one right now. Basically, it's a brief period of depression, usually lasting only a few days but occasionally lasting weeks or a month at a time.

The one I'm in now is mostly caused by yet another month of practically non-stop menstrual bleeding. Ugh. I spot for days and days (even weeks) after my actual period has ended, and the pms/fatigue/moody/yuckiness tends to accompany it as a bonus. Hardcore PMS for weeks. Yay me.

So, my diet and exercise plan is suffering GREATLY. I am so down and grumpy that I don't WANT to take the time to do anything for myself. I simply DO NOT CARE.

If I want pizza, I eat it. Whatever.

If I don't feel like drinking my water, I don't. Workout? Surely you jest.

Sigh. Hopefully it passes soon, but who knows, last month it was almost the entire month.

I'm sorry to be all whiny and pathetic, but I just thought if I'm making this a true diet journal I need to keep it real so I can track what happened later...in case I start gaining now or give up the weight-loss efforts altogether.

Cause that's SO what I feel like doing right now.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Saturday morning weigh-in

Weight this morning: 139 lbs.
Loss for the week: 1 lb.
Total loss: 24 lbs.

Well, as much as I HATE the one pound loss weeks, this week I'll take it and try to learn from it! I was having my time of month this past week and I ate pizza three times, hit the chips a few times, have treated my water intake far too casually, and just generally not focused on my diet on worked out as hard as I should have.

Hopefully, I'll stay on track better this weekend and have more motivation in my workouts this coming week! I'm getting close to the goal so I can't give up now!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Got a bit too comfortable!

I know I haven't been around much this week. I've been struggling with the realization that I've let old habits creep back in, I haven't been getting enough water, and I've been far too lax with the cheats. I tend to fit them into my calorie counts for the day, but chips and ice cream are still junk!

I guess all the times I've eaten badly and still lost are messing with my head, and before I knew it I got cocky. "I can eat chips, no problem!" or "Another ice cream sandwich...no big deal!" I assume because it's only 100-150 calories or I have room in my counts that it's just fine. Sometimes, that is true...remember my dieting philosophy: Nothing is off limits, just eat junk in moderation!


Last night I was in bed watching television with my husband and had a hankering for a snack. I was still below calories for the day so I headed downstairs...

And I grabbed a big bag of BBQ chips.

Opened them, ate a couple, and then I realized how much like the 'old days' that was. Munching chips straight out the bag in bed with Hubby. Bad habit, bad for my diet, bad all around!

I quickly took them BACK downstairs and grabbed a string cheese. Not what I really wanted, but a MUCH better choice!

If I really want to lose the rest of this weight and keep it off, I have to treat things like chips and ice cream as the occasional treats they are meant to be, not casual everyday snacks! I'm including 100 calorie packs of chips and cookies as well. They shouldn't be part of my menu every single day.

Back to the good snacks again: apples, string cheese, yogurt, baby carrots, almonds, ect. Back to carrying a water bottle with me everywhere. Back to making a workout a daily priority. I'm only half way there...I need to stop acting like I've already crossed the finish line!

I did a peek weigh-in yesterday and while I'm not up after the tragic eat-alicious weekend I had...I'm not down at all either. At this point, a pound loss for the week would be a massive victory, so that's the goal.

Oh...and I've started piling up the clothes that no longer fit me and having to buy a few new things here and there! I'm back into my size 10's and can even fit a few 8's, although not consistently. My bra's are getting just a bit looser, which is fine by me. I'd like to lose a TAD there...but not too much!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Another bad weekend

I am being FAR too lax on the weekends. This weekend my daughter was out of town so it was just Hubby and I...and that always leads to food disaster! I had pizza...TWICE. Yep, two nights in a row. I had ice cream...twice. Sunchips...twice. I didn't drink enough water three days in a row. Minimal fruits and veggies. Too many dark chocolate kisses. (That one gets blamed on my pms, though!)

Argh. How many weekends in a row am I going to blow it before I decide to buckle down??

Today I need to get to the grocery, but I'm not sure I'll have the money till tomorrow. If I have good food in the house, I do SO much better. Hubby is picking me up Subway for lunch since the cupboards are bare.

Exercise this weekend wasn't bad, though. Hubby and I stayed active. A nice 2.3 mile walk on Friday, a 6 mile bike ride on Saturday, and yesterday we did some walking in the park while geocaching. It's nice, we've become much more active since I decided to get my butt off the couch every once in a while!

Ugh. Just ate my Subway and had a bag of baked chips with it...now I feel uncomfortably full. Maybe I ate too fast.

Anyway, another Monday wrapped in food regret. Will I learn from it this time?? Who knows.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Saturday morning weigh-in

Weight this morning: 140
That is a loss of 3 lbs this week!

Feels good, especially considering what a bad diet/exercise week it has been, not to mention that I'm premenstrual on top of that.

It's weird. The more I think I screw up, the better I seem to do, and the stricter I am, I don't lose as much. Hmmmm.

Whatever. All I know is that every loss motivates me to keep going...next week it's the 130's!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


You know, this weight loss thing is teaching me so much. I'm learning self control for one thing. Today my daughter and I went to hang out at the Borders at the mall for awhile. In the past that has tended to include coffee and one of their baked goodies...or even a Cinnabon from the mall food court.

Not today. I didn't even get a coffee, for fear it would make me crave the other stuff!

I'm learning perseverance. I can't tell you how many times I've worked out even though I REALLY didn't want to! Of course, there are also a few times I've not wanted to and just DIDN'T, but most of the time I press through and do something, even if it's a short one.

I'm learning patience. I HATE the weeks I lose only one or two pounds. HATE it! It seems like it is going so slow and that I'll lose steam before I ever get to my goal...but I'm moving on anyway. It's coming off, and that is what really matters. I try to remind myself that 'THEY' say that if you do it a pound or two a week, you're more likely to keep it off. Hopefully that is the truth!

I'm learning moderation. I decided at the beginning of this journey I was counting NO food off limits, and I've stuck to that decision. The key is that I've learned to only sample things or stick to a couple times a month. At the graduation party last weekend I had cake -- but it was only half of a small slice. I had fries at Wendy's last week -- but it was only 4 or 5 of Hubby's fries, not an entire order. I had an ice cream sandwich today for a snack -- but it was only a mini sized one worth 110 calories. That is my big diet plan...treats in moderation.

Of course, this totally doesn't include pizza, which I still have on average once a week. Baby steps, people!

I'm learning that I'm capable of doing more than I thought I was. I never thought I could run on the treadmill at all, but I am! Oh, it is mostly only a minute or two at a time, but it is more than I thought possible! I never thought I could stick to a diet this long (the longest before was a month) but here I am two months into it and I'm still doing alright.

Secret confession: I wrote this post because I'm struggling right now and I wanted to encourage myself a bit. It is that lovely time of month when my PMS is kicking in and not only do I want to eat (and eat and eat) but I also want to lay around and be gloomy all day, too. I needed to remind myself of the good things this diet is bringing into my life, so that I get through this next week without gaining ten pounds back!

My diet is NOT perfect and I am NOT doing everything right, but I am much better off now than I was two months ago, and I'm learning that it's alright to struggle as long as I don't give up completely. :)