Sunday, May 31, 2009

Out of control eating this weekend!

You know how sometimes I'll say I did really bad over the weekend? Well, all the times I said it before were NOTHING (and I mean NOTHING) like this past weekend. I completely blew it.

Lots of traveling, lots of eating in the car. Only one 30 minute workout. Not much water being consumed.

Pizza. Lots and lots of really super greasy, cheesy pizza.

Cake...with a ton of icing.

S'mores.

Chips...probably a couple servings worth, easily.

Mexican food...rice, fajitas.

Arbys.

Bob Evans western omelet with a bunch of bites of my daughter's pancakes...which were completely smothered in strawberry sauce and whipped cream.

Ugh.

Back to the basics tomorrow. Going to the good grocery store to stock up on fruits and veggies. Hitting the water hard. Doing at least an hour workout. Cleaning the fridge of all the shameful leftovers. Trying to be active and not a couch potato.

I doubt I'll be brave enough for a peek-weigh-in, but if I am I'll let you know. It won't be pretty, I'm sure.


Friday, May 29, 2009

Weigh in, a day early

Twenty pounds lost...finally!

My weigh-in this morning was 143 on the nose, which is two pounds down this week and a total of 20 pounds lost since I started this.

Phew. :)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

My eyes hurt

Is it just me, or are there a ton of gratuitous F-bombs being tossed around on weight-loss blogs?

I mean, I would never presume to tell someone what they can or can not say on their own blog, but yowsers. Sometimes I click over to a blog that looks interesting and within a few words I'm totally cringing and feeling kinda dirty.

Not that I didn't use that word in the days of my youth...oh, I totally did. I just find it yucky to read over and over for no reason whatsoever. Seeing it in print is somehow more crude then hearing it in conversation. It's almost like I can't bring myself to look away. Truth be told, it has even kinda started to chase me away from the weight-loss blog 'scene' a bit. I'm afraid to click on links now!

No reason for this post, really. Sorry if anyone reading this is offended. You have every right to post whatever words you please on your own blog, it's just my opinion!

By the way, early weigh-in tomorrow because I'll be out of town for my niece's graduation this weekend!



Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Feeling blah and chillin out

First, I stinking LOVE Subway. LOVE IT. Had one for lunch and it is just so stinking good, and I don't even have to sweat the calories!

Anyway, I am feeling so blah today. Just tired, both physically and mentally. It's been gray and rainy for the last two days, maybe that's why, who knows. I didn't do my first workout this morning, but I am not in the mood to sweat that fact. I'll do it when I do it and if I don't do it...well, whatever.

Told you I was blah today.

I'm going to do something very anti-diet-ish now. I'm going to pull up the ottoman, grab a throw blanket, put in a movie, and chill for a few hours. I can hear it thundering and it's getting very dark...perfect chillin out weather. Won't burn any calories (and may add some, depending on the snacks that may or may not be consumed while I lounge) but it's just where I'm at today.

Blah.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Up a pound after a long weekend

Wow...the long holiday weekend was quite a diet struggle! First, I had no organized workout whatsoever. The closest I came to a workout was walking along a parade route Saturday as my daughter performed with her baton group. I spent a great deal of time in the van this weekend, traveling between home, parades, and visiting family.

Second, my water intake was way down all weekend, mostly due to being away from home and in the van. I have to pee A LOT when I get my water, so if I don't have easy access to a restroom I hold off on drinking.

Third (and most importantly) my eating has been atrocious. Friday night was the drive in, where I had THREE huge pieces of cheese pizza. Saturday was weird. We went to a festival after the parade and I actually didn't get any food (talk about NO good choices!!) although I did eat one of my daughters fried mushrooms...yum. I ended up picking up Subway, but it was after 3:00 already so my metabolism was probably all screwed up by then. On the way home from the festival we stopped for McDonalds ice cream and I totally got a cone. They aren't TOO terrible (150 calories) but not the best idea when I'm trying to lose some serious weight! Dinner was turkey hotdogs and I gave in and ate a real bun and ketchup and all that jazz.

Sunday we cooked out after church and had hamburgers. We don't do turkey burgers because none of us care for them, but get 96% lean hamburger so it isn't too bad, about 150 calories for my burger. I added fat free swiss cheese, grilled onions, and mushrooms to the top, no bun. It was really good! I had a handful of baked chips (140 calories), strawberries, and a salad with tomatoes. Felt pretty good about this meal, except the empty calories of the chips! BUT THEN. We got Baskin Robbins! I got the frozen yogurt, but still....I just had a huge ice cream cone the day before! Dinner was a Lean Cuisine.

Monday. Oh, Monday, how hard you were! We had a family BBQ to attend but because of yet another parade we only stayed for an hour. I was kinda having a bad anxiety day and a near panic-attack moment while we were there so I didn't eat at all. Off to the parade. After, my in-laws wanted to take us to dinner and my daughter chose a stinking buffet! Argh. I was freaking out on the way there. I ended up with a small salad, a couple of red potatoes from the roast and veggies, some bourbon chicken and white rice that I only ate a couple of bites of because it was gross, a couple pieces of broccoli, a few pieces of raw green peppers and onions, spaghetti and tomato sauce, a ton of grilled chicken strips, more spaghetti (!), and a few bites of hubby's roasted chicken and steak.

Then, I hit the dessert bar.

Oh, yes I did.

I took one of the little bowls they have there (I used to take a plate, so progress) and got a bit of banana pudding (with the nilla wafers) and peach cobbler. Can I just say that they were DIVINE? Oh my. I so wanted some of the lovely rolls and more dessert, but resisted. :)

When we got home around 9:00 last night I actually had the nerve to be hungry again so I had a bowl of Special k and went to bed. Sigh. This morning I'm up a pound since Saturday. That is not a good thing!

So, today it's back to business. I'm going to be doing my two half hour walks again this week, and I really should do something else, too. We'll see. This weekend I'm out of town again for my niece's graduation, so I have to be really, really good this week! I wanted to be at 143 by Friday, but it isn't looking good at this point. Oh well.

Oh, and I saw a TON of family this weekend and not one comment on my weight loss. Whatever. :P



Saturday, May 23, 2009

Saturday morning weigh-in

Today my weigh-in was 144.8 but I'm not sure what to do with that number. Last night I weighed in a 147...but it was a late day weigh-in compared to my usual pre-breakfast morning weigh-in. What do I do?? I suppose I can round it to 145 for now and see if it sticks.

By the way, last night we went to the drive-in. My food was NOT good. AT ALL.

That's all I'm going to say about that...except that 'Night at the Museum 2' is seriously funny. :)

Friday, May 22, 2009

The monthly visitor who won't leave...

I have had a bad two weeks on the dieting front! I'm having some, shall we say, female difficulties...which have lasted TWO weeks now. Ugh. That means bloat, fatigue, and a general feeling of yuck on top of everything and I just have not had it in me to do long, strenuous workouts or to eat the way I should.

Wonder how that is going to reflect on the scale tomorrow??

At any rate, I've decided to make at least one adjustment. Instead of doing a one hour treadmill workout in the afternoon (which truthfully hasn't been an hour most days the last two weeks...there are even days I didn't get on at all!) I am going to do a half hour in the late morning and a half hour in the late afternoon. Mentally and physically it is just better for me right now...and if my day completely gets sidetracked at least I'll have the morning workout accomplished!

This won't work on days I'm out of the house, but I'm just going to adjust as the day requires. I'm also still meaning to try out the strength training bands, I just haven't remembered to ask Hubby to teach me.

The eating is what it is. I can do better, I can do worse. Last night was chicken stir fry (chicken, green pepper, onion, broccoli, no oil, low sodium teriyaki sauce) over brown rice...very yummy! Tonight is turkey hotdogs (only 45 calories!), corn on the cob, and salad. I'm relying too much on microwave meals for lunch but I'll work on that next week!

Next week is my niece's graduation and I'd love to be at 20 lbs. lost by then! That has become my new short term goal. :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Fast food

Today I was out and about with my family and it was past lunchtime so we wanted to just pick something up. I am pretty burnt out on Subway and that leaves very few (if any) good alternatives and I was almost in a panic attack over where to eat for stinking lunch! Ugh. I was ready to give up this diet business because you know what?? It is just easier to be fat.

Finally, I said just pick a place and I'll figure something out. McDonalds it was...

Hubby was kind enough to run inside (I can't go inside McDonalds...the fries call to me) and get me a nutrition guide. Wasn't pretty, folks. Even the grilled chicken sandwich was over 400 calories. I ended up getting a kids meal --- hamburger and apple dippers --- and it was only 350 calories for both! Not too bad, I guess. Not as good as when I eat at home, but on the go it'll do.

This is hard. No, I take that back. It's easy if I stay home 24/7, it only gets hard when I leave the house! :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Weekend recap

After a very busy weekend, it's actually nice to be back to normal again. Welcome Monday! :)

My eating over the weekend could have been better, but wasn't a complete disaster, either. Saturday my hubby and daughter had donuts for breakfast...I had two bites but I stopped myself there! Also, we had so much going on that before I knew it we ended up with pizza at 8:30 for dinner. Sigh. I did stick to my two pieces of cheese only...actually it was one and a half pieces this time. And a salad. So not too bad, but pizza twice in a week is going back to old habits! BEWARE!

Sunday Gabby had her church play and my mom and sister came up to see her. That always means lunch out, and I decided to just try and make a wise choice and not sweat it too much. They picked IHOP and guess what?? They have a 'light' menu! I almost cracked and got pancakes with strawberry topping (NOT on the light menu) but stuck to my guns and got a delicious piece of chicken with balsamic onion and mushroom topping, broccoli, and salad. It was really good and less than 500 calories. I did steal a few bites of my daughters blueberry pancakes, though! I am, after all, human, and there are limits to the tempation I can withstand!! :)

I worked out both days, Saturday an hour on the treadmill (I ran at a 5 for 5 minutes straight! First time I ran that long at a pop...very cool!) and Sunday a quick 1.8 miles with the family at the park. It's a shorter walk than my usual workout, but with the hills I think it's still a decent Sunday walk.

Goals this week:
*Some kind of workout everyday
*Add a bit of strength training (Hubby bought me bands to try out)
*Hit water harder
*More fruits and veggies...easy cause I am ALL about strawberries right now!
*NO pizza nights! (Hubby won't like this one)
*Two pound loss

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Saturday morning weigh-in

Time for this weeks weigh-in:

Today I am 146.8 which is about 1.5 lbs. down for the week.

Phew. After the absolutely terrible week of exercise neglect I've had...I'll take it! Hopefully, I will feel more myself again soon and I'll be back to hitting it hard next week!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Lost my mojo

You know, this week has been weird. I'm still mostly dieting and exercising, but my head isn't in it as much as it has been. My workouts haven't been as intense, my diet hasn't been tracked as well, my daily activity level is back down, ect. I am just finishing my time of the month, so I'm hoping that had a lot to do with it and that I'll bounce back soon.

I'm tired. I did have all this new found energy for awhile...no idea where it went! I just feel like sitting around and surfing the web, so that is what I've been doing. Sigh...

New plan? No clue. I need to get to the grocery for some fruit and veggies, that's for sure. I went to Walmart for a couple of days worth of food and let me tell you, their produce is unsavory to say the least. The only grocery around here that has produce I approve of isn't very close to my house and I just didn't have the energy this week to drag my behind down there!

Note to self: From now on, just bite the bullet and go to Meijers. It's worth the drive!

Well, that's a quick update for you. Weigh-in is tomorrow and I think I'll end up being down about a pound. Not the greatest week, but I'll take a loss of any amount, I suppose!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Stumble

Well, two things collided in my life today that resulted in a terrible eating day so far.

Thing #1: I haven't been to the grocery yet this week.
Thing #2: I wasn't feeling well.

Those two things added up equal me eating pizza for lunch. Two very big, extra saucy pieces of cheese pizza. No salad. No fruit. Just greasy, gooey pizza.

The good news is that I feel a bit better now that I've eaten. The bad news is that before lunch I did my mid-week weigh-in and I was down a pound...and now that pound is probably going to show back up again!

I know, I know. Just one meal. But you know what? I'd made it through an entire month of almost no cheating! Sure, I had pizza a couple of times, but it was always for dinner, when I knew I had enough calories left unused and I'd already done a workout. Lunch was always (ALWAYS) healthy. I feel like this is a setback.

Oh well. Onward I go. Hopefully I'll still be feeling better later so I can get a workout in and I will have a MUCH better dinner tonight! :)

Monday, May 11, 2009

Adjustments

Well, yesterday was a bit better than Saturday, thank goodness! Special k for breakfast, lean grilled steak, brown rice, salad, and strawberries for lunch. Dinner was a bit of Lloyds bbq chicken (surprisingly low-cal and good!) on light toast with a salad and then strawberry shortcake for dessert. No worries though, it was angel food cake (just a bit) with the spray whipped cream. Yummy and low cal!!

The bad news: no workout. I was NOT feeling it at all...the pms is still kicking my butt. Luckily, by all indications today should be the worst of it and I'll be feeling myself again by tomorrow. I hope.

Anyway, I refuse to weigh-in today. I'm going to try and hold off until Wednesday morning for my mid-week unofficial weigh-in. I'm sure I'm up a bit after the weekend of reckless eating, and I'd rather not get too discouraged just yet!

I'm actually making it my goal this week to hit 148 solid. That would be a loss of less than a pound, but after the weekend, I think it's a reasonable goal. Oh, and I adjusted my ultimate goal weight from 130 to 125. My reasoning is that being half way to 130 isn't really showing much difference on my frame, so I think 125 would be a better stopping point. Also, I'd have a 5 pound window to move around in, as I know I usually bounce back and forth a couple of pounds here and there!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Cheat day regrets!

So I decided yesterday would be my 'cheat' day. I hear many people giving themselves a day of slightly more calories once a week. Heck, even Bob on Biggest Loser recommends it so it must be a good idea, right?

Maybe not.

Yesterday was the day we celebrated Mother's Day with my mom and mother in law and that involves lots of really bad food. My contribution? A big salad. I figured I'd mostly munch my big salad and all would be well. Good plan, bad execution!

My plate was half salad (good), a small portion of chicken salad without the croissant (acceptable), some strawberries (excellent), and this cream cheese filled pinwheel thing (bad...but only ONE). Not too shabby overall. Then I tried the pinwheel thing. It was simply delicious. Unlike anything I'd ever eaten before!

So, I got two more, of course!

Still not a disaster, right? Dessert time comes along and there is cake, chocolate chip cheesecake (oh my), and my favorite dessert of ALL TIME: rolly polly. Now, let me explain a rolly polly to you. It is pie crust smothered in butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar and then rolled up and baked. It is heavenly. It was still warm from the oven...

And I had two peices. Sigh.

Well, I decided that I'd do better at the mother-in-laws house. When we got there we discovered they'd already eaten so I was excited...maybe we'd just grab Subway for the sixth time this week! (I don't even think that's an exaggeration)

BUT. In my hometown there's a local burger place called Kewpie and it is SOOOO good. Like, people grow up and move away and if you ask what they miss about their hometown, they'll say Kewpie before they mention their grandma. That good! Hubby asked if I'd like to go there for dinner and I didn't even hesitate.

"Okay!"

I had a hamburger and half an order of fries and a frozen yogurt. If I'd have refused the fries, I'd not be sweating it as much but FRIES! They are the dieters nemesis!

Other things of note from yesterday: No exercise. Not enough water. Oh, and NO ONE mentioned that I looked like I'd lost weight. No one. Makes me both want to give up and want to try harder at the same time. Doggone it, I'm working hard over here...someone notice!!

Anyway, today is Mother's Day for ME and I have a plan. Grilled steak with salad and brown rice for lunch, maybe some corn on the cob, too. Walk with the family at the park toward the evening. Small dinner, maybe a Lean Quisine. And LOTS of water to wash out the salty residue of yesterdays overeating!

Happy Mother's Day to all your mom's out there!!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Weekly weigh-in

I have to weigh-in a day early today, because I will be out of town tomorrow and I won't get a chance to post. I'm so happy to announce that I'm past the plateau and I lost almost 4 pounds! I weighed in this morning at 148.4! I am so tickled, because I am .4 away from 15 pounds lost.

Of course, this is a tricky weekend. We are traveling to see both of our mom's, which means two big, non-diet meals await me tomorrow. Also, I tend to not drink enough water on the road, for obvious reasons. I'll be back in town for Mothers Day, and I've already asked for grilled steak for lunch. I figure I'll pair that with some baked potatoes and a nice salad and it won't be as bad as going out to a restaurant somewhere!

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone, especially those mothers out there!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Uh oh! It's about that time...

I am crabby today. Like, really crabby. Hubby is kinda not talking to me right now, cause I was mean to him today. I had to plug my ears in the van today so I couldn't hear Gabby slurping her push-up pop, it was annoying me so stinking much.

I hate to say it, but I know it's true: I'm PMSing. Argh.

This is only the second period I'll be having since I've started this diet, the first being right at the beginning while I was still pumped and motivated. I'm a bit apprehensive what this month will bring. I don't have PMS for a couple of days, mine lasts at least a week, sometimes 10 days.

That's a week of crabby, a week of off and on cramps, a week of hot-flashes and cold chills, a week of fatigue, and -- of course -- a week of food cravings. Usually, I crave chocolate, pasta, and french bread. Bad, bad, and bad.

Last night, I was so hungry lying in bed watching Lost, for the first real time since I've started. Not kinda craving something or just bored-hungry, but really seriously HUNGRY. After some consideration I decided on a bowl of Special k. Happily, it did the trick! Hopefully, it was a wise choice.

So anyway, here's hoping I can withstand my own hormones! The scale seems to be moving again so at least I'm feeling motivated again. :)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

This week so far...

Well, we're single-handedly keeping Subway in business, I'm pretty sure. We used to be a grab-a-pizza whenever we were on the go type family...and now we grab subs. We still usually get one pizza a week, but it's a big improvement!

Today I tried egg-whites for breakfast. Let me backtrack a bit here. Last week I bought some generic egg-beaters and it was DISGUSTING. Seriously, ewwww. So I decided to try just straight-up egg-whites instead, even though it requires my hands getting seriously egg-y in the process...again, ewwwww. Well, I made two egg whites and topped them with salsa and let me tell you, it was really good! Score!! So, that was breakfast, along with a piece of whole wheat toast.

Lunch was half of a 6 inch (so should I say I had a 3 inch?) Subway black forest ham sub, with no cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, banana peppers, and honey mustard. I had a salad on the side and some baby carrots. My plan is to have the exact same thing for dinner, with perhaps some string cheese? We'll see how hungry I end up being!

My workout: I try to build on my workout each week in some way. This week, I upped my treadmill time to a full hour (from 50 minutes last week) and the distance totals around 3.5 miles (up from 3 last week). I haven't done ANY strength training yet this week...oops. Note to self: get those weights out!!

I did a cheat weigh in yesterday that I'm keeping to myself right now. It was one of those times that seemed too good to be true, so I wait a day or two to see if it sticks...anyone else do that?? :)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Making hard choices

My husband has some gift certificates for two free meals at a local breakfast restaurant, and since Gabriella had an orthodontist appointment at 10:30 this morning, we thought it'd be a great idea to have a nice breakfast on the way.

Then I started to think. Would they have something for me to eat on the menu that won't add yet another messed up meal for me? I decided to look and see if their menu was online. It was.

I did find a meal that would be acceptable (scrambled eggs, mixed fresh fruit, whole grain english muffin) BUT I also found so many meals I'd rather have! Chorizo omelet. Sausage, egg, and cheese skillet. Pecan waffles. (That's the one that ended up putting me right over the edge!)

I realized that I'm not feeling as strong now as I did a couple of weeks ago, and I honestly couldn't trust myself right now to make the correct choices. So....we decided to postpone the breakfast date until I meet my goal weight, or until I'm feeling stronger again. Hubby took Gabby to breakfast at McDonalds, and I just stayed at home, because frankly, McDonalds breakfast is one of my favorite things in the world! :-)

It's hard because I'm finding myself rearranging my entire life around this diet. I know it isn't forever, but at the same time it kinda is, because I never want to get this big again. I need this to seriously be a LIFE CHANGE, and that means being strong enough to make the tough choices....at least most of the time!

Side note: I haven't weighed myself since Saturday morning showed no weight loss. I'm just scared of what I'll see there. I was wanting to stop weighing in all the time, so I guess that is something good that came out of last week!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Weekend full of pouting and cheating...sigh

Well, I've been quiet the last few days for a reason...I've been pouting. I had my weigh-in on Saturday and had only lost a couple of ounces, even though I had the best diet and exercise week yet. I was mad, depressed, hopeless, and pouting.

So, we ended up doing a bunch of running errands that afternoon, to try and distract me from myself. We stopped at Subway for lunch and I had one of the good subs --- so far, so good. Then, stopped at Baskin Robbins for ice cream later and I had frozen yogurt --- again, not bad. We even went to the park for a 2.3 mile walk so I'd get my workout in (I was NOT in the mood to jump on that stinking treadmill after it had betrayed me so harshly that week!) and again, that's doing pretty well.

Then I realized how late it was and we had to figure out what we'd eat for dinner. My disappointment still ringing in my ears, I said we were getting a pizza. And we did. And I ate. Two cheese pieces. Sigh.

Sunday was a busy day. Gabriella was being 'crowned' and Honor Star at her girls club at church and it's a whole to-do, let me tell you! She had to get all dressed up in a white gown, hair done, rehearsal, pictures, the whole nine yards. We had to be at church from 2:30 to 8:15 and there was no eating during that time, except cake which I, of course, avoided. So we grabbed a rotisserie chicken for lunch before we left, which I ate skinless with a salad and --- oh dear --- a nice chunk of french bread. Sigh. I'd done so well avoiding all white bread and pasta for WEEKS! I rationalized it by thinking I may not get a chance to eat again that day.

Anyway, I also didn't get my water in all day, because I didn't know how often I'd get a chance to slip away to use the restroom...which I do OFTEN when I drink my water!

Everything went well, and when it was all over my in-laws wanted to treat us to dinner at Boston Market. I told myself I'd be strong...

I wasn't.

I started off good, I really did! Got a small, skinless portion of chicken, some mixed veggies, and red potatoes. But then I decided to get just a couple bites of the AMAZING mac and cheese they have. Tasted it. Got some more. Quite a bit more. Oh, and I ate my corn muffin. And more potatoes. And some cinnamon apples.

Oh dear.

So, I totally blew it this weekend. You know what though? At least now when I don't lose anything there will be an actual REASON. ;-p

Friday, May 1, 2009

Becomming more active

I'm starting an all-out assault on my fat. I'm fed up with working hard and getting nowhere, so I'm working even harder!

What I decided to do is to try and keep busier and to try harder to get that second workout in everyday. Today I did both Core Secrets and my treadmill walk/run for 'official' workouts, but I also cleaned and swept out the van and sat on the core ball during school. I even stood for awhile while we did school, thinking standing was better than sitting!

Hubby, the kiddo, and I may go to the park in a bit for a walk, but it's been raining off and on so....not sure. My point is, I'm trying to become more active OVERALL, instead of just putting all my eggs in the workout basket. Hopefully this is the missing piece of my weight-loss plan!

I prayed for God's help with my weight-loss this morning, is that weird? I felt a bit silly, considering what my problems COULD be....but out it came anyway. You never know, right? :)