Thursday, October 28, 2010

Plugging along...and dangling on the edge

Day four of being back to work on the diet/exercise program again! So far, I'm sticking to the plan on the eating side just fine. I'm entering all of my food onto Sparkpeople and staying within my calorie range each day. Actually, Tuesday I was UNDER my calorie range, which technically isn't good but I wasn't hungry so I just went with it. One day won't kill me. ;-)

Exercise has been okay. Monday and Tuesday I hit the treadmill and picked up right where I left off, doing the running/walking intervals for 30 minutes. Well...I probably should have eased back into it because yesterday I was wrecked. I could barely walk, my legs were so achy! I was also so fatigued that I wasn't really fully functioning whatsoever, so needless to say I took a rest day from workouts yesterday. So far today I am feeling a bit better, and hopefully I'll get a workout later today!

Mentally I'm dangling on the edge of a down cycle, but not actually in it yet. I hate this feeling, but I suppose it's better than riding out a week in the dark pit itself. I'm really hoping it passes before I get there. There is so much I want to say on this topic, so many thoughts that are tormenting me that I'd love to get out onto the screen, but I'm hesitant of doing it. I feel so exposed when I share too much, and really, does it help long term? So for now I am just trying to get through, as usual, because it just isn't something I have much control over when you get right down to it.

So I am trying to control what I can weight! I haven't weighed myself all week, I think I'm waiting till Saturday like the old days, so we'll see if I'm making any difference this week at all. Hope everyone is doing well and for those of us in the midwest...hope you aren't blowing away! :)


  1. Missy,
    I'm sorry you're danglin'...
    I know the feeling.

    I hate that when I'm down, I just can't trust my feelings/thoughts. Like it feels better to talk, but then afterwards when I'm feeling better I'm so embarrassed by what I said. (But it felt so real and valid at the time!)

    Well, here's hoping you just glide through this one. No getting stuck in the pit!
    Love you and praying for you.

  2. You are doing great. I have a question for you that I've been meaning to ask. How did you lose so much in such a short period of time when you started? Losing 40 lbs 6 months is incredible! How did youd o it?

  3. felt like it came off so slowly, actually! Most weeks I'd only lose around a pound or so, but they do add up eventually.

    All I did was try to workout 4-5 times a week (mostly walk/runs on treadmill for 30-45 minutes) and counted calories, aiming for around 1200 a day. That's it. I didn't have any food I considered off limits as long as I fit it into my calorie count for the day.

    (Well, there were a few things that I avoided altogether because they are binge-trigger food for me, like peanut m&m's or brown sugar pop tarts...things I still avoid to this day!)

    I'm convinced the calorie counting is key, at least it is for my body. In all the years of trying to lose weight, nothing worked till I did that.

  4. Shauna...thanks. :) Sorry I haven't been emailing much, but at least now you know why. Love ya!

  5. Maybe you will choose not to publish the tormenting thoughts, but it often seems to help me to at least write them down, almost as if writing them takes away some of the brooding impulse, that urge to keep chewing on it all.

    Have you ever looked at the Prompting Event worksheets at my blog? That sort of structured writing has been helpful to me at times.

    Also, if you're like me, you forget to pray when the thoughts are tormenting you. If you know for sure that the thoughts are twisted hormonal neurochemical randomness that you can safely ignore (theoretically), or if you want to get to the bottom of them and metabolize whatever's there, honest prayer is a great path to perspective and nourishment and replenishment and courage and hope.