Friday, December 17, 2010

Sad little update for ya...

I know that I said I'd update on some things I've been working here goes.

Diet/exercise: So-so. I've been hitting the treadmill again, not everyday but around 3 times a week. The diet is not great...Christmas cookies, cherry cordials, that sort of thing. I know that the next two weeks will be hard, but hoping the first of the year brings renewed willpower and perhaps another few pounds off the scale in 2011.

Appearance: Last week was stellar. I was dressed nice with hair and makeup done almost everyday. This week, not so much. Slack city. I've been super-unnaturally fatigued this past week (my period wrapping up...could this be post-menstrual somehow?) and I've been slacking on a LOT of stuff, including looking nice. So, yeah. Fail this week on this one.

Relationships: Well, mostly okay on this one. I'm still struggling to find my peace in God and not in circumstances and people, and until I can manage to get there I will still struggle in my relationships. I have GOT to stop letting my unmet expectations dictate my attitudes and take my joy. Work in progress. I'm calling this one a fail, even though outwardly I am doing a bit better, inwardly I'm still a big ole mess.

Spiritually: Biggest fail of all. UGH. I am not even trying at this point...again. Why do I do this?! Not reading, barely praying, ignoring God on purpose almost. I know it all comes down to my lack of trust that He really has my back. Not sure how to develop trust where there isn't any. When will I get it through my head that all these other things will be easier if I can get this one right? Fail, fail, fail.

Living my life: Fail, again. Wow, this post is pathetic. I'm on the computer FAR too much again. Letting that fatigue get the best of me and not getting out of the house much. Letting fear have far too much control of me and almost shutting me down completely. Wishing I could just skip Christmas this year. So yeah, fail.

Sorry that I'm not here with great reports of my life turning around...perhaps next time. Right now, I am just treading water. I have such a hard time with the Christmas season and it's manifesting in pretty much every area of my life right now. So for now, I'm surviving minute to minute and hoping this feeling lifts with the new year.


  1. Missy, I hate to hear that you are still having such a hard time. Here are three reasons why we can trust God. Look up the scriptures and pray to God for help to understand the Truth of his word. Pray that he revels himself to you. I promise he will answer – but know it’s not always how we expect.
    1.God is holy. (Isaiah 6:3) This means that he is pure, removed from all wrongdoing, and absolutely reliable. He can never become corrupt or abusive, and it is impossible for him to breach our trust.
    2.He has the ability and desire to support those who serve him. (1 John 4:8) God’s love influences everything he does. It makes him an ideal Father, someone in whom we can place implicit trust.
    3.He understands us better than anyone else does. (2 Chronicles 6:29, 30) He knows our heart.

    James 4:8 -“Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you.”

    I'm going to send you an email soon so be on the lookout for it! :) Hope you get to feeling better soon. Hugs!!!!

  2. Oh honey, you're so hard on yourself... Maybe we should say "Work in progress" rather than "Failed"... ;0)
    Love you.

  3. 122#? I thought you said you were up.