Monday, October 5, 2009

It's all a blur...and a ton of self-doubt

Just wanted to say thank you again for all the congrats over the weekend. :) It was very sweet and I appreciate all the love!

That said...I felt a bit guilty every time I read one of the comments...because I was eating terribly all weekend! Figures, right?

We had pizza, pizza, pizza, due to college football on Saturday and our kiddo's birthday party on Sunday. I'm still sticking to cheese pizza it totally doesn't matter that I had a combined total of seven pieces of pizza over the weekend! Oh, and there may have been cake. And I MAY have eaten three slices of said cake. But really, who can remember such details?

I should probably mention the mass quantities of chips and salsa I consumed as well, but they were baked tortilla they don't count, right? ;)

All sarcasm aside, it wasn't the healthiest eating I've ever done, to say the least. The good thing is that I've already gotten the grocery shopping done for the week and we're good to go with tons of healthy food to get me back on track.

Can I be completely honest? I am stressed to the gills about gaining all the weight back! I bagged up the rest of my big clothes last night (a HUGE bag of stuff...I am running on empty here!) and as I realized I've given away at least ten pairs of perfectly wonderful jeans...I was filled with fear. If I gain weight again I'll have to go spend a ton of money to replace all that stuff. I still haven't come up with the money to buy things to fit me NOW! Ugh. Fear, fear, fear.

Let's face it, we've all read blogs where someone has lost weight only to gain it all back. I've read a TON of blogs like that. What is going to stop me from following suit? It's not like I personally haven't been down that road before myself...losing a bit, gaining it back and then some. I've done it MANY times! Oh sure, I know what I have to do to keep it from happening...but honestly? It's completely exhausting to think of keeping this up forever.

Ah well. One day at a time, right? Truly, I think that is the key. Having this blog helps, too. Reading back over the first couple of months, reminding myself what worked and what didn't, ect. Pressing on through this stinking doubt and fear. Trying to enjoy TODAY and not stressing about tomorrow.

Truly, I am very much still a work in progress!


  1. That's right Missy. Take it one day at a time. I know you can do it! :)

  2. Maybe you need to make a plan for the future. Something like, continue weekly weigh-ins and exercise regularly. If you're up a pound or two some weeks, don't sweat it, but make a five pound limit. If you get up to 128 (or whatever), time to cut back on the calories for a while and exercise a little harder.

    I think that reading over your earlier diet blog entries is a great idea. Also pamper yourself with a new dress or shorts every now and then, something that you wouldn't have felt comfortable wearing at your previous weight. (From Goodwill even? You can afford that;0)

    Love you, Miss. I'm so proud of you!

  3. For now my plan is working out at least three times a week (hopefully more, but no less than three) and still trying to watch what I eat. The cake was WAY off plan!

    As for weigh ins, I'm still planning on doing them on Saturdays but not necessarily posting them. I know I'll fluctuate and if I constantly whine here it would get really old! Your idea of a 'cap' is good. Angel and I talked about the same thing! :)

  4. One day at a time.. that's the best you can do! I'm rooting for you

  5. You know, I've always said losing is the easy part, maintaining is the hard part. BUT...something tells me that even though you had pizza and cake! (drooling!!!) I have a gut feeling that you'll be okay. I think you'll take a month or two to figure out the true lifetime part of this and then be on your merry way.

    Really, I feel that way. And I bet you do, too--deep down.

  6. Missy - you have done a GREAT job and should be soooo proud even with the pizza. :) you know that is my weakness! lol Btw, I ahve a new fat site. It is

    - Lisa