One pound down...one to go!

Hello there! Yep, I'm still plugging away, just haven't been checking in much, since there's not a lot to say. I'm weighing in at 124 consistently now, which means I am down one of the two pounds I gained. My monthly weigh-in is in just a few days and I'd really like to be back to 123 by then, but I had a little surprise that may de-rail that plan!

For the first time that I can ever remember, I have started my monthly a full week early! What is up with that?? Granted, it isn't 'full-blown' just yet (I assume you ladies know what I mean) but I never, ever do this early. I am usually 27-28 days like clockwork! Hmmmm. Very weird.

I guess I don't really mind just getting it out of the way, but it does seriously throw a wrench in the losing one more pound before the 1st of February plan! I am still working out, despite my threats not to do so anymore, if for no other reason than I use the exercise as anxiety/depression medication. Can't afford the real stuff, so it's the best I can do! Still just using the treadmill and running/walking intervals for now. I really do plan on moving on to more variety and strength training workouts soon (I keep saying that!) but I'm waiting for the other pound to drop first. I'm looking forward to a summer where I might brave wearing tank tops and even SHORTS again! (Yikes, that sounds scary) Gotta tone the arms and legs....

Not much else to tell. I'm doing a little bit better mood-wise. The past two months have been BRUTAL! I'm hoping this upswing will continue, but we'll see. I just really, really, really want Spring to come. Missing walks in the park SO much. :-)

Did another peek weigh-in...

Well, dang. I'm back at 125 again! This is crazy...I feel like I've reset my body to think 125 is the norm now! NO NO NO! Shoot...

So, this is the most frustrating part of it: from October through December when I wasn't working out regularly, I maintained 122/123 without even trying, even pigging out on Christmas cookies. Now that I'm working out regularly again this month, I'm up two or three pounds and can't seem to shake them! What the heck is up with that?!? Should I stop working out and see if they drop off? That doesn't even make sense. Ugh.

So distracted

So, how is everyone doing? Me...so-so. My eating is up and down, back and forth. My workouts are pretty steady now at three times a week. I'm not weighing in much now, hoping to not obsess on the numbers again.

That's the status of my weight loss life. The rest of my life? Ugh.

I'm struggling with ANOTHER down cycle, perhaps the same as the one I've been dealing with for the past couple of months that I've never really snapped out of completely. It sucks. I'm SO tired all of the time, so stressed, so easy to snap. I feel dark...does that even make sense? I'm actually doing better the last couple of days, so it isn't the worst it could be, but still bad. I hate this!!

Also, the Haiti earthquake and current crisis is always close to my thoughts, although I have had to force myself not to watch too much coverage or I start freaking out. I can not believe how terrible it is there, and how every time I think they've hit rock bottom I see a story that is so much worse than the one before! I realized today in the shower that they've not showered for a week now. I know, that is the least of their concerns, but it is just one more thing we're all taking for granted that they no longer can. Sigh.

I could go on and on about what I've seen and heard is going on in Haiti, but I'll stop there and do something more productive. If anyone reading this is thinking of giving a donation to help out in Haiti but don't know what charities to trust, I want to suggest Convoy of Hope.

They are in the unique position of already having a system in place in Haiti to reach many people. They were already feeding some 7,000 Haitians a day before the earthquake hit. Since the quake they are now serving around 100,000 daily. They have systems in place right now to provide not only food but water and medical help to those who need it...but they are quickly running out of supplies. I know we're all doing what we can, but if you still haven't taken the time to give something or want to do more than you've already done, I hope you will check out their website and donate whatever you feel led to give.

Sorry to go on a tangent today, but I am just feeling broken for these people and had to say something. It feels terrible to go on and blog about trying to cut back on food while literally millions are starving right this very minute! How very blessed we are...

Is it Spring yet?

I am happy to report that my weigh-in this morning was back on track! I'm going to continue to monitor my weight every few days this month to make sure it stays there though. :-)

I'm focusing on cardio at least 3 days a week now, and I may add in my strength training on the other 2 days now that my numbers are back down. I have a weird paranoia about strength training working against my weight loss efforts, mostly because it totally has in the past. For my body, cardio = weight loss and strength training = no weight loss. I go with what works.

Does anyone else miss the sun? I am. I want Spring to come SO badly that I can taste it. Winter is hard for me and my moods. I have been fighting a major down cycle for a couple of months and all I want to do is lay in bed eating junk. Seriously, I could go to bed right now, I am that tired! I'm not leaving the house very often, either, which isn't good. I just want to hibernate...

A pause to pray

I have spent much of the day watching/reading coverage of Haiti. It makes everything else fade away...

A bit late but...

Here are some Christmas pics for you!

uh-oh!

So. I did a quick peek weigh-in yesterday morning and I am up a bit. Ashamed to say it, but I actually saw my panic number: 125. Ugh.

Now, there are two things that are making me not completely freak out over this development: first, I am majorly PMSing and that always adds a couple of pounds of water weight each month, and second, I weighed in after breakfast, which is not my usual routine.

That isn't to say it couldn't be an actual gain though. Lately I've been eating with reckless abandon, I'm sad to say! I am back to almost-daily workouts though, and today I am making a trip to the grocery to re-stock my good snacks and food. All is not lost!

I just wanted to be real with you all here, so you don't think I'm being a perfect little dieting mama. Nope, time to refocus once again!

New year, new start

So, today is the day that we all refocus our lives toward being better people. Honestly, how cool is it that once a year we all get a chance to hit the restart button?? Love it. :-)

I'm a make-resolutions type person. I love making positive plans for myself and the year ahead, even though (truth be told) I rarely follow through with them for the whole year or even a whole month! To me though, not making any resolutions is like giving up on myself. Some days I definitely feel like a lost cause, but not today. Today, I feel like I have potential.

This year I have many resolutions that I'm trying to put into effect in my life:

*Less computer time, more book reading
*Have more grace and patience with my husband and kiddo
*Jumping back on the workout train!
*Maintaining my weight loss and perhaps even dropping a couple more pounds
*Being more consistent and passionate in my spiritual life

These aren't the hardest resolutions (you'd think) but for me they are all challenges. Here's to a new year...full of opportunity, full of change, full of life. Remember, you will never have a chance to re-do 2010. You will never pass by this way again. Let's all make it the best year we can possibly have! :-)