Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What's the point?

Things are crappy and I'm so very tired of the crappiness. It just makes me want to give up. I just don't care. What's the point? That phrase just keeps ringing through my head...what is the point? What difference does anything make?

I am supposed to be at my women's Bible study right now, but I just decided at the last minute to stay home. What's the point, right?

My eating has been pretty decent all day long, but I am so emotionally tired. So sad. So empty. Again, what's the point? Why not just grab something to eat and feel good for a few minutes? A few minutes is better than nothing.

So what if I'm thinner? Did it change any of the crap? Did it fix anything?? So what if I'm still a couple of pounds away from my goal. What difference will those two pounds make? NONE.

I know I suck coming here and having myself a big old pity party, but I am feeling heartbroken and don't feel like hiding it right now. So do you know what I'm doing while I'm typing this? Watching the new season of Biggest Loser.

I so love this show. Oh, I know it is all kinds of jacked up (not enough focus on diet, weight coming off too fast, unrealistic results, ect.) but watching the contestants push through their struggles just inspires me so much. There is a woman this year who literally lost her entire family to a car crash and wow...don't I feel ridiculous in my pity party now!

Oh, I am still feeling crappy, but at least my focus is (somewhat) off of myself for the next hour and a half. That's something, I suppose.

Sorry for this....


  1. (((HUGS))) I am sorry you are feeling this way right now. We all do from time to time. I went through it for three months! Say a little prayer for help and direction, let yourself have a pity party for 20 minutes, then move on. If it is something that you can't let go, then keep talking it out here, with friends, and with family. You can do this!!!! :)

    Psalm 34:18

  2. I hate it when the "what's the point" thing attacks.

    Turn it around if you can -- what's the point of giving up now? What's the point of sabotaging your efforts?

    And give yourself grace, too -- if you binge, Jesus still loves you. If you don't, Jesus still loves you. And his promise is true.

  3. Great advice here already! :) It will get better. I'm sorry you were having a bad day.

    I love Biggest Loser too!! It just amazes me to see the transformations on these people! And I was WEEPING every time Abby talked about losing her family. Can you even IMAGINE?? UGH! How horrible! It really does help us realize maybe things aren't so bad. ;)

    Love ya!