Can I be pathetic for a moment?
Tonight is my women's Bible study at church, and although I love the content, I totally dread going. Every single week, I have to pep-talk my way out the door...and honestly, even once I get there, I have to pep-talk my way inside of the church, down the hall, and through the door.
Why is this, you ask?
Because I have no friends there. None. And? No one really talks to me. It's weird, really. I sit there -- smile on my face -- and everyone acts like I'm not there. I say hello to my neighbor, she maybe says hi back but that's it. No conversation. Everyone chats up their own group of friends, and I am literally the only one alone and ignored.
Feeling so pathetic.
Seriously, what the heck? Why is it so stinking hard for me to make women friends? It has been this way for as long as I can remember, really. I have had a few good girlfriends in my life, even some really close best friends, but mostly I have always hung out with guys. Obviously, that all changed some 14 years ago when I met my husband and got married, and since then I have had very few girlfriends.
Here's the thing -- I am fun, people! Really, I am! I love to laugh, I am super-casual, I am kinda smart about a few things here and there, and I can even be clever from time to time...but for some odd reason, I can not seem to connect with women easily. Being a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom does not help the cause, either. I generally have NOTHING to add to a casual conversation. Observe:
What did I do today? "Oh, three loads of laundry and three hours of excruciating 7th grade math, what about you?" See what I mean? YAWN city, baby.
Ah well, what can you do, right? I'll go tonight, smile a bunch, probably be ignored, but at least I can come home and hang out with my two best friends afterward. Hard to feel sorry for myself in the middle of a kiddo/hubby/mom 3-way hug. Betcha none of the other ladies at Bible study get one of those when they get home. :)