Wednesday, February 9, 2011

No one likes me...

Can I be pathetic for a moment?

Tonight is my women's Bible study at church, and although I love the content, I totally dread going. Every single week, I have to pep-talk my way out the door...and honestly, even once I get there, I have to pep-talk my way inside of the church, down the hall, and through the door.

Why is this, you ask?

Because I have no friends there. None. And? No one really talks to me. It's weird, really. I sit there -- smile on my face -- and everyone acts like I'm not there. I say hello to my neighbor, she maybe says hi back but that's it. No conversation. Everyone chats up their own group of friends, and I am literally the only one alone and ignored.

Feeling so pathetic.

Seriously, what the heck? Why is it so stinking hard for me to make women friends? It has been this way for as long as I can remember, really. I have had a few good girlfriends in my life, even some really close best friends, but mostly I have always hung out with guys. Obviously, that all changed some 14 years ago when I met my husband and got married, and since then I have had very few girlfriends.

Here's the thing -- I am fun, people! Really, I am! I love to laugh, I am super-casual, I am kinda smart about a few things here and there, and I can even be clever from time to time...but for some odd reason, I can not seem to connect with women easily. Being a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom does not help the cause, either. I generally have NOTHING to add to a casual conversation. Observe:

What did I do today? "Oh, three loads of laundry and three hours of excruciating 7th grade math, what about you?" See what I mean? YAWN city, baby.

Ah well, what can you do, right? I'll go tonight, smile a bunch, probably be ignored, but at least I can come home and hang out with my two best friends afterward. Hard to feel sorry for myself in the middle of a kiddo/hubby/mom 3-way hug. Betcha none of the other ladies at Bible study get one of those when they get home. :)


  1. Oh i have the same problem! I volunteer a lot and i talk to other people but i can't say i've any real friends. Probably because i'm such a homebody and we don't do much in the evening.

  2. I have the same issue. I have a few female friends, but my closest friends have always been the guys. I always thought I was weird, but apparently, not.

    Such a blessing that you have your two best friends at home!

  3. I'm so sorry, Miss. That sucks.
    I used to go to a women's Bible study (mostly older than me) that was that way. Whenever I did talk, people looked at me like I had two heads. Eventually I stopped going. Now I attend one that some of the "younger moms" in our church started, and it's waaaay better.

    You ARE fun! I think the problem is that you're just not as uptight as them;0) You need a more laid-back group of ladies. Are there any other options available??

  4. By the way, kudos to you for continuing to go and "try" even though it's hard!

  5. You're not alone! I have two heads at my church, too, and to an extent among the playgroup moms. I have to forcibly remind myself of the friends I DO connect with, both a few occasional local friends, and more geographically distant friends, and that they COUNT even though X and Y don't seem to care for me and A and B don't get what I'm thinking and feeling at all.

  6. First of all, you are not being pathetic. We are created to desire relationships with people and when it doesn't happen like it should in specific situations like that it's very hard to deal with. It sucks quite frankly. I've been there too so I get it.

    Secondly, I'm with n8swife - are there any other options available? Because if you're not able to build relationships with any one in there that's kind of defeating the purpose right?

    I'm proud of you for continuing to go and try though. I know that must be really hard to do!
    I hope you are able to figure out a solution soon. :)

  7. Glad that I'm not the only one! You ladies are the best. Just when I feel like I'm the biggest freak EVER, you all come out to tell me that although I may be a FREAK, I'm perhaps not the biggest freak, so there's that. ;)