For some reason, I am really, really struggling. I am not just eating too much, I am kinda full-on binging. I don't know why. It could be hormonal, as I am midway through my cycle and that's a bad time for me, or it could be due to not sleeping well most nights for a really long time. Maybe I'm in a bit of a down cycle, or maybe it's just the long, super-snowy winter that's driving me to eat. Who knows. All I do know is, I am constantly hungry and I'm simply not fighting it all that much.
Sigh. I so wish I was a super-inspiring blogger that people visit because they always leave with good feelings and a drive to meet their goals. Instead, I am falling further and further into the danger zone of slack and gluttony and gaining my weight back, and I hate it...but apparently not enough to get my crap together.
Honestly? There was a moment earlier today (as I ate my third blueberry muffin of the day, after I'd eaten like 6 donut holes) when I had the thought that I just didn't care anymore. I just wanted to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and if I get fat, whatever. Do. Not. Care.
So, yeah, that moment has passed now and I DO care again, but I feel out of control and unsure of how to turn this around again. I just feel so unbelievably tired and I'm really hungry and it is so hard to fight those two feelings combined! I definitely need to sleep better, there's just no way around that. I may have to start taking some Nyquil or something to help things along.
The good news is that I've been faithfully working out 3 or 4 times a week for the past 3 weeks now, so at least I have a hope of my metabolism revving back up again. Now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder, could the return to workouts be contributing to this huge hunger I've been feeling? Perhaps. I just wish I would start feeling some residual energy from the workouts as well!
And no, I haven't weighed myself at all since the first of the month. I just don't want to know! Sorry I'm such a non-inspiration right now. There is really nothing else to say.